Haphazzard Sex Ed


Pinky gazed around in amazement. Never in his life had he seen so many marvelous titties. Well, it wasn’t like he had never noticed them before, but now that he was in the sixth-grade and in the “Bigroom,” the multi-grade classroom of his country school, they just seemed to jump to his attention. Sort of demanding his unconscious gaze.

Some of these girls he hadn’t seen all Summer long. “The first day of school has just got to be the greatest!” he mused half aloud.

“What a change comes over a girl between the sixth and seventh grades!”

Dolly was just another tomboy last Spring, and Eileen had been just plain flat. Last fall Ina ran naked through the hay fields with a dozen or so of us. Now, even she is beginning to look more like a woman, and he hadn’t seen her naked in months.

But this year, if Dolly ran anywhere those titties would surely bop her in the chin!

“And marvelous Marla,” Pinky sighed over my shoulder, “She must have the biggest ones in school,” he whispered without so much as moving his lips.

At morning recess we had seen Glenn trying to squeeze one of Marla’s. She seemed to be acting strangely coy, yet enjoying the attention greatly.

Then sometime during the noon recess the word went out onto the playground, “Marla’s wearing falsies!”

As it later turned out, Allan had gotten his dirty hands on one. He had just walked up to her, reached out and took a generous handful. When she realized what was happening she took a quick step backward, leaving him with a handful of sweater-encased foam. The elastic of her bra stretched out before him like a slingshot. He could feel the electricity in the air as the gasps arose from her group of girl friends.

Well, not wanting to be a “pervert caught red-handed,” so to speak, he let go. That wad of rubber nestled in a “c” cup catapulted back to her chest with a resounding “Thunk!”

A chorus of startled “Oh’s!” arose from her contingent of friends, and she made a beeline for the girl’srestroom.

By afternoon recess she was coaxed out in humiliation by several of her friends. Some of us though, didn’t get the full story until after school that afternoon.

For the next several days she was not “strutting her stuff” in tight sweaters, but was buttoned up in a lightweight jacket. It was months before we saw her in form- fitting clothes again. It was then that Pinky and I began to wonder if Allan’s story was true, or if some girls really were un-sanforized and tended to shrink!

Some time into the school year Pinky had to quit our little country church school for family financial reasons.

Every day he’d have to catch the big yellow school bus to attend the city school.

Many were the days I’d watch him trudge off to school like a martyr to the lionden. He would regale us with stories of life in the eathenschool. How at lunches, he’d have to turn down the hotdogs and pork chops and go hungry. He would decline to dance during the music classes, preferring to sit on the sidelines with his new fat friend, Penny.

To me, Penny seemed to be a strange, huge kid with a perpetual runny nose. But, he shared a common interest with Pinky, “titty watching” as he was fond of calling his sport of choice.

One day as Penny and Pinky were sharing a desk during another boring music class, they just “happened” to find themselves seated behind Charlotte, the most active dancer in the whole class.

“Charlotte!” he’d moan, rolling his eyes up ’til only the whites showed, harlotte, with the biggest boobs ever possessed by a sixth grader since Adam and Eve’s daughter.

Somehow, speculation arose between Pinky and Penny pertaining to the relative softness or hardness, and the real size of those mounds of feminine flesh as compared to say, a softball. Dares and giggles were swapped as each tried to get the other to “feel up” to the challenge.

After most of the period was wasted on giggles and chortles, it was decided that they would each slip a hand under her armpit from behind. Reaching far enough should allow them to “size up” the situation with one gentle squeeze.

I wasn’t there of course, but when Pinky and I got together that evening his face was still red. He claimed it was not from the resounding slap that he received, but from what he had learned in that briefest of moments when his fingers had cupped that breast.

In just a moment of time, he claimed, he had brazenly breached the barrier of the sexes.

“Right in the classroom, practically under the long nose of the teacher!” he choked out as rolled on the ground in spasms of laughter.

In that momentous instant he had accelerated the clock twenty years and discovered that the titties of older girls are both soft and hard. They squeeze somewhat like a foam rubber ball, but are more resilient and spring back into shape faster when your grip is released.

They also seemed to have a harder spot about the size of a pencil eraser right out in front. He had discovered that as his “pointy finger” swept his side of her chest like a blind man reading Braille.

“Did you know that titties aren’t really round like a ball?” he asked me. “Hers started almost under her armpit, and got bigger and rounder as they sort of wrapped around her chest.”

Penny claimed he was so freaked out by the thrill of what he had just done, that he hardly even felt the slap.

According to Ted, who was sitting across the aisle, she had whirled around administering a slap with each hand in such quick secession that they hardly had time to react.

Then up shot her hand, “I’m gonna tell Teacher on you!” she declared.

“Oh yeah? You can’t even say `tits’ out loud.” whispered Ted, “What are you gonna say?”

Suddenly her hand collapsed into her lap and she fell into a brooding silence.

That look of satisfied fulfillment on Pinky’s face convinced me that this was the stuff that wet dreams were made of, in fact I was getting stiff just listening to their tale of daring.

Someday, he and I would be in school together again, we could share experiences like this first hand. In the meantime I’d have to be content with listening and dreaming.

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